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Post by imahales on Apr 14, 2015 0:10:38 GMT
Okay, so I've found myself in a situation where I feel as if I kind of want to inform my father that I'm gay, and I know he'll support me, but I'm also extremely nervous about how to bring it up. Currently, I'm out to my mom and stepfather, which unfortunately, was forced out of me after they snatched my phone as I was texting my girlfriend. It only ended with me as a mess of tears as my mom informed me that she hoped it was only a phase, even though I aware that that was how she would react in the first place.
I want to bring it up with my dad so I don't end up with a repeat of "trial one" and eventually having it forced out of me, so do you guys have any ideas on how I could bring the topic up?
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Post by Misfit Reindeer on Apr 14, 2015 0:11:47 GMT
Don't take this the wrong way, but are your parents divorced?
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Post by imahales on Apr 14, 2015 0:44:58 GMT
Don't take this the wrong way, but are your parents divorced? Yeah, no worries! They've been divorced since I was really little, so it's never really been a big deal for me. |
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Post by Misfit Reindeer on Apr 14, 2015 1:19:58 GMT
Oh, okay, I was wondering, because I figured that your mom would have told your dad already.
If you think he'll support you, I'd sit him down in person and tell him about it and say that you wanted him to hear about it from you. It may go well, it may not, and it'll definitely make you nervous at first but you can do it.
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Post by imahales on Apr 14, 2015 22:02:08 GMT
Oh, okay, I was wondering, because I figured that your mom would have told your dad already. If you think he'll support you, I'd sit him down in person and tell him about it and say that you wanted him to hear about it from you. It may go well, it may not, and it'll definitely make you nervous at first but you can do it. Nah, she informed me that I needed to come out to our family myself and not relay it through her. I'm just really nervous, so I rather wait until I think I'm ready to go through with it. Thank you for the help though! |
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Post by Misfit Reindeer on Apr 14, 2015 22:37:59 GMT
Don't do it when you're nervous. You'll be okay, I believe in you!
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Post by glambertfelix on Apr 15, 2015 0:24:31 GMT
One way to come out that works really well for me--or is working, I should say--is to write a letter. You can be as detailed as you want, answer asmany questions as you can think of, and you can explain why you're writing a letter rather than saying it in person. It might sound insensitive, but for example, in my letter I wrote this: "Coming out like this, via email, might seem impersonal or timid, but I assure you all that I have thought this through, for the following reasons:
I am very emotional, or at the least, very expressive. I want to be sure I am level headed in explaining this to you, because you all deserve that, because I love you, and I don't want this to be a pit of confusion and shock. I will admit that it is easier for me, but please understand that it is through no fault of yours. I am just not really the best at making these big announcements. I don't like being in the spotlight."
I really wanted to get across that I wasn't doing this to make it simply easier for me--but I knew that if I did it in person I would break down. That might not be the case for you, but writing a letter is still heartfelt and honest and in my opinion, moral and brave--I wouldn't cast it out right away.
Good luck <3
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Post by aoife on Apr 15, 2015 11:57:57 GMT
When I was coming out to someone I knew would support me I picked a time when we were alone together and just said it straight, I tried not to make a big thing of it. Usually they ask a lot of questions so it's fairly easy to explain everything to them in a way they'll understand. I was really nervous the first time I tried it but I got an amazing confidence boost when they were so supportive about it, it made it so much easier the next time.
If you end up all emotional don't worry about it too much, the chances are your dad will be too and it might even make things easier for both of you. There's nothing wrong with being nervous either, I don't know anyone that wouldn't be, just make sure you don't let your fear control you.
Anyway, good luck, I'm sure it'll all go well,
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Post by becbecmuffin on Apr 15, 2015 14:46:48 GMT
I'd say just make sure you're putting thought into when and how you're coming out. When I was younger and just discovering my bisexuality, I was extremely proud of it and blasted it on facebook and twitter. My aunt saw and chewed my mom out and my mom yelled at me. She is/was accepting but she didn't want it out there and she ascribed to the idea that 13 is too young to know your sexuality. It also didn't help that she didn't hear it from me.
So don't be careless about it. Make sure she hears it from you. A letter is a good idea, but if you CAN tell her face to face, I would. If that's too much, then a letter is a great alternative.
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Post by Nyxks on Apr 17, 2015 22:48:29 GMT
We all come out differently to our folks, I told my mom and dad I was Asexual in Jr High and both said "its just a phase" ya a phase that i've never grown out of ...
best I can say is that you talk to him straight up if you know he will receive you positively then there is little reason to not to it straight up and be forwards with him about the matter, he might already have an idea about it.
For my own deal, my folks have never accepted be being ace and now that I'm married to them that proves that I can't be ace (shrugs, their issues not mine - my wife knows and is alright with it so that is all that matters).
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