Post by Danes on Apr 21, 2015 20:54:59 GMT
So, for as long as I can remember and then some, my gender has been a big problem for me. I know now that I'm genderfluid, but that doesn't solve all my problems. When I was a junior in high school, I came to the decision I was FtM, and that made me feel right in my skin. But my mother and my family didn't accept me.
My family didn't give two shits, but my mother was the problem. She was vehemently against my trans-ness and was often the cause of my dysphoria. Because of her, as well as my classmates, I stopped identifying as trans and went under the name Lauren, though I was extremely confused. When I began dating my ex, who was FtM himself, I thought I was comfortable being female, but I would get these crippling bouts of dysphoria I never told him about, especially near the end of our relationship.
I'm okay with being genderfluid, but I don't know if I'm okay with being female in sex. Whenever I look in the mirror, I expect a completely different person, and I've lost all ability to deal with it. I can't tell my mother, because she doesn't listen to my problems, and I don't have any therapist to help me with this.
I'm sorry if this isn't enough to go by, but my dysphoria is working against me as I write this.
My family didn't give two shits, but my mother was the problem. She was vehemently against my trans-ness and was often the cause of my dysphoria. Because of her, as well as my classmates, I stopped identifying as trans and went under the name Lauren, though I was extremely confused. When I began dating my ex, who was FtM himself, I thought I was comfortable being female, but I would get these crippling bouts of dysphoria I never told him about, especially near the end of our relationship.
I'm okay with being genderfluid, but I don't know if I'm okay with being female in sex. Whenever I look in the mirror, I expect a completely different person, and I've lost all ability to deal with it. I can't tell my mother, because she doesn't listen to my problems, and I don't have any therapist to help me with this.
I'm sorry if this isn't enough to go by, but my dysphoria is working against me as I write this.
