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Post by mightbeliam on Apr 19, 2015 10:00:53 GMT
So I've been considering myself a transman for a while now. However I often doubt my identity because I never visualised myself as male growing up... I would always choose male characters in video games and identify with male characters in books, but as far as during daydreams, I saw myself as a genderless blob, but that genderless blob had 'female' parts. Now that I have realised I might be trans, I actively work to block out seeing myself as 'a woman' when I daydream, but sometimes I do it by accident and it catches me off guard. It makes me feel like shit.
Is this just a visual form of misgendering myself? Should I be worried that it means I'm not trans? This is distressing me out beyond belief
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blurryface
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Post by blurryface on Apr 19, 2015 14:08:51 GMT
gender is weird isn't it? obviously you're the only expert on you, so here are just a couple things to think about. a lot of trans men don't or can't have sugeries for medical, financial, or other reasons. that doesn't invalidate their identities. so if your're comfortable with certain parts of your body that's totally okay and fantastic! also, gender is a spectrum so people fall everywhere between boy and girl, some are fluid, and some have no gender at all. you said you saw yourself as a genderless blob, so maybe you could read some articles about being agender and see if that fits! tldr; gender is a wild ride and learning about different genders can be super helpful in finding something that feels like you. i hope this helped?
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Post by becbecmuffin on Apr 19, 2015 14:39:36 GMT
Just as Alex said, you don't need to have male parts or transition to be a transman. It's completely okay to identify as a man but still have female genitals and be comfortable with that. Your genitals are not you.
But I definitely agree that you should maybe look into the possibility of being agender or genderfluid. It sounds more accurate to your "genderless blob" visualization of yourself.
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Post by mightbeliam on Apr 19, 2015 15:00:10 GMT
Thanks!
The weird thing is though,I do get dysphoric about my chest and I would get rid of them in a heartbeat. But for some reason they still make an appearance in my head sometimes...
I'll definitely look into agender although I do feel more male than anything else
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Post by happyfork on May 25, 2015 19:32:27 GMT
I think it's very easy to misgender yourself even while transitioning. I mean, you grow up your entire life calling yourself one thing, it's not easy to just switch, even if it's something you really want to do. Habits and stuff.
Don't worry. I misgender myself all the time. It doesn't mean you're invalid or anything like that!
(To be fair though, I'm still exploring my gender so the misgendering thing may have something to do with that. Hopefully someone 100% certified Trans™ can verify this)
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