Some Tips For Allies

I just wanted to put in a few tips for anyone on here wondering, from my own personal experience.

• If an LGBT+ person asks you to stop using a term or says that something is offensive, it's probably offensive. Please stop doing it.
  
  
• Please don't treat the person like a walking dictionary or thesaurus. Unless they say that you're free to ask questions, don't. We're in the most technologically advanced period of time as of yet, you can google something and find definitive answers in less than five minutes. 
      
• If a person starts ranting about cis or straight people, and you are personally offended by this, unless the person specifically started talking about you, it's not about you. It's about the majority of cis and straight people who are blatantly LGBT+phobic. All cis and straight people benefit from LGBT+ oppression, whether they like it or not. It's systematic.
  
  
• Do not speak up over an LGBT+ person about LGBT+ things! It's really not something you need to do. It's rude and contributes to misinformation and prejudice.
  
  
• If you're confused about someone's gender or sexuality, and you think it sounds fake-- look it up. Don't say anything to the person. They don't need to hear from a friend that who they are is fake. I am certain that you'll find real people who also identify with that label, real people with real feelings. 
  
  
• If you misgender someone-- apologize! You're the one doing something wrong. I'm sure you didn't mean it, but it can hurt the person that you're talking to. Same thing goes if you use their birth name and they don't like that.
  
  
• In the case of the above-- if someone gets angry because of something you said regarding their gender/sexuality, don't get all offended. From a friend, it hurts.
  
  
• Please do not fetishize! I'm serious. Fetishization is a form of discrimination. It's also super gross. 
  
  
• Try and change your mind and stop doing things you didn't know were offensive. There's a lot of inherent prejudice and bias in our society that you don't really realize. There are inherently offensive slurs, like f****t, d**e, t****y, but also phrases like "turned gay", "that's so gay", "but they're really a boy/girl". I don't have a full list of things to take out of your vocabulary. But I really urge you to think about your own speech and how it affects others.
  
  
• Challenge cis-heterosexism. The idea that cis and straight are the defaults and LGBT+ is abnormal is really harmful.
  
  
• Challenge gender roles and binary genders. There aren't just two genders. It's not just male and female. There are a number of different genders, and non-binary (not male or female binary) genders have been recorded as early as ancient Egypt. Intersex people exist, and they do not always identify as the gender that doctors assign to them. Gender roles have been proven to be harmful. Male and female aren't opposites of each other. They're just labels.
  
  
• Do not out people. Do not out people without their permission. Don't do it.